Your deceased loved one might have left explicit instructions as to who should be invited to their funeral. In some cases, there might be a number of specific people whose presence is very much not welcome. They might have been estranged from the deceased, or they might have been involved in an active feud with your loved one. But can you actually prevent someone from attending a funeral?
By Invitation Only
People cannot attend the funeral if they're unaware of it. A death notice does not need to precede the funeral, and if you want to have one at all, it can be printed after the funeral and burial or cremation. For your invited guests, you can simply make direct contact with them to notify them of the funeral plans. You can request that they do not pass on this information to anyone else. Despite your best efforts, the knowledge of the death cannot always be contained, and it might be that those who would not have been invited learn about the funeral and subsequently might be planning to attend.
Making Contact
If you should become aware of the fact that the person in question is planning to attend the funeral, you can decide to contact them in order to convince them otherwise. Remain calm, and simply state that their presence is unwelcome and runs the risk of being disrespectful to the deceased. As difficult as it might be, you must try to convey this information as politely as possible. But what do you do if they show up anyway?
At the Funeral
A funeral home is not like a licensed venue. There are no bouncers. If the undesired individual should opt to attend the funeral, all you can do is tolerate them. Their presence should not affect the grieving process, and you don't even necessarily need to even acknowledge them. You can, however, prevent them from attending the memorial service or wake.
A Private Residence
After the funeral home, the day can move to someone's home for a private wake or memorial service. Entry to this stage of the proceedings is entirely at your discretion since you have the ability to prevent admittance to your private residence. You can invite whomever you choose. You cannot prevent someone from going to the funeral, but you can prevent them from coming to your home afterwards.
It's difficult to actively ban someone from a funeral. You can do everything you can to minimise the possibility of their attendance, and you can limit their presence to the actual funeral service itself. For more information about funerals and guest policies, reach out to the staff at a funeral home like Nelson Bros Funeral Services.
